When we fall in love

We are created with an innate need for love and attachment as well as capacity to love. These are integral to what makes us human. But who we fall in love with is as much a matter of our own belief system as it is romantic chemistry and timing.

Beginning in childhood, we develop a schema about the type of person we are looking for. Perspectives, attitudes and experiences all inform our schema. We create our own expectations for love. We fall for someone who meets our expectations for a love match.

The idea that we don’t choose love is not entirely true, then. Examining and challenging our love schema can open new possibilities and lead to a more fulfilling match. Let chemistry handle the rest.

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